Sports bags are evil

  You may end up looking less like a hardcore traveller, but wheeled luggage is definitely something to consider. It will relieve you of a great burden and make you less reliant upon others. Wheeled luggage is hopeless for overland trekking and camping, but if your wanderings are restricted to cities, towns and civilized coastal areas, then you may as well let the ground bear the brunt of the weight rather than your back or arms. Some Indian pavements may not be wheel friendly, but generally speaking, you will get by – I certainly did. Many Indians tend to walk on the roads anyway.

  The wheels should be close to the bottom corners: this offers the greatest manoeuvrability and rolling comfort. Do not purchase a brand where the wheels are set too close together, as these tend to wobble when towed. Some of the better cases can either be towed horizontally on four multidirectional wheels or can be pulled along on two wheels with a handle. Invest in a good brand, like Samsonite, as your luggage will have a hard life over there. The last thing you need are broken straps and handles.  Try to buy a case in an unconventional colour, like red or green, so it can be spotted easier at a distance. This is handy if a thief is surreptitiously carting it away in a crowded place, and it will be easier to describe if it gets lost. Don’t worry about the colour drawing attention to the case itself, as from the outset, anything you carry will already have the wrong people’s interest.

  Sports bags are atrocious. They are fine for throwing on the backseat of your car and for the local gymnasium but should NEVER be used for long distance travelling. They cut painfully into your shoulder, strain your arms and get in your way when you walk. Even amongst the better brands, straps and handles still seem to break - and then you’re up the Ganges without a paddle.

   If you buy a backpack, think carefully about the size. If you buy a huge one, then you will be tempted to fill it to capacity. When you're carting around a backpack the size of a Fiat in the pre-monsoon heat, you're likely to regret it. If you are not packing a tent, buy a modest size pack. This will force you to travel light. I could give lots of clever advise about backpacks, but the best thing to do is visit a camping store and try them on for size, as it is not always the most expensive or advanced that will suit you the best. Try buying a heavy bag of groceries just before entering the shop, then put your shopping bag into any backpack you try on. Do this as most will feel comfortable when empty.  

   Look out for modifiable back systems, which allow you to slide the pack up and down your back until you're comfortable. Solid back supports are crucial, these toughen up a pack and stops it lumping into your back - which can be very uncomfortable, and YKK zips, which are corrosion resistant and heavy-duty zips that prevent zippers breaking at awkward moments.

  Do not be overimpressed with copious pockets and pouches, as most of these will not be lockable, and even if they are, you will end up with lots of fiddly little keys. Somewhere between Madras and Port Blair, I once had a good water bottle stolen from a pouch in my backpack. The poverty in India is such that for some people almost anything is worth stealing; as a result, all those side compartments, pouches, zips, flaps and straps are just an invitation to robbery. As already mentioned, solid ergonomic backpacks with hard plastic (polycarbonate) casings are the most secure.

What Not To Take

Meghalaya

  Once in Vijayawada (Andhra Pradesh) I decided to shed some of my baggage. For three months, I had been carrying around two ridiculously heavy sports bags and now one of them had to go. I resolved to fill one of the bags with my surplus items and unload the unwanted goods upon some grateful beggar. Strangely enough, on that particular morning I had difficulty finding a beggar, I must have been the only foreigner on the subcontinent wanting to be begged from – yet for hours none were forthcoming. When I actually encountered one, her hand extended in heartfelt supplication, she became strangely annoyed as I handed over my entire bag. I then turned my back and fled.

  My weighty predicament had, in part, been caused by bogus advice from a supposedly authoritative guidebook. It had instructed me to take such things as a spare sheet and a mosquito net – even a sink plug.

  Mosquito nets should have been fazed-out in the early 20^th century, along with wind-up gramophones and Penny Farthing bicycles. In one hundred Indian hotel rooms, from Goa to Guwahati, I rarely found anything to hook the thing on to, and when I did, I found that it obstructed the much-needed cool breeze from the ceiling fan, creating an uncomfortable pocket of warm air. I have visited over a dozen Indian states, and have never encountered mosquitoes in such numbers that they would interrupt my sleep (unlike my experiences in South America) and as for malaria prevention – there are better ways! Mosquito coils however, cost a pittance and are available everywhere. They can sometimes leave dryness in your mouth upon waking, but it is a small price to pay. Do not buy the fancy plug-in electric repellents from home they do not work during power cuts.  

 A small minority of Indian hotels lack sheets and just provide mattress coverings. On the plains and coastal regions during most of the year, it is usually so hot that sheets are unnecessary anyway. Whilst in the hills and mountains, you don’t need sheets – you need blankets or sleeping bags: but warm bedding is invariably provided.

  As for the lesser matter of a one-size-fits-all sink and bath plug - it’s equally pointless. People don’t take baths in a tub in India so, customarily, your hotel room will not be equipped with such a decadent foreign item. As for the sink, if there’s no plug – so what! It’s unlikely you will get a hot water tap (sometimes even if you pay for running hot water, you may not get it), so just let the cold water run. If that’s not good water conservation, blame it on the hotel.

  Aside from the unnecessary weight of these items, you must also consider the cost. In your home country, they could quite easily set you back the equivalent of five thousand rupees: a senseless sacrifice of good beer money.

  Do not take an expensive or treasured lighter to India. They are not allowed on board Indian planes (unless in your suitcase) and Indian customs officials usually confiscate them - and probably do a handy profitable sideline in foreign lighters. If the customs officers don’t get them, a petty thief will, or you will accidentally leave it in a bar or hotel room. One way or another, India will be the last place your good lighter ever goes. Buy local disposable ones instead, but don’t throw cheap Indian lighters around, as they can explode on impact. I found this out in Goa when a Scottish friend in Goa threw one at a house gecko.

  Invest in suncream but do not bring large or even medium sized bottles of shampoo and conditioner. Indian products are fine and can be purchased in sachets from most Indian kiosks. Good perfumes or colognes are also a waste of space, as you tend to sweat more in the tropics, which means that fragrances do not have a real chance of permeating into the skin.

  An inflatable pillow is an exquisitely useless item. If you travel by train, you will receive pillows in the AC classes. On aeroplanes, you get pillows. If you use one on the beach, you will look like an idiot. In hotels, yes, they have got pillows as well, if they prove too hard, or small, just roll up a towel and use that. If it is an unpleasantly dirty hotel pillow, you should simply wrap it with a clean lungi or dhoti. So, just where are you going to use an inflatable pillow? OK – buses, but it’s unlikely that you will travel far by bus – and if you do, then stop it! It’s more comfortable and safer to go long distances by train or plane. 

  Beach ball – another inflatable piece of garbage. You cannot play soccer with it - one strong gust of wind, and suddenly it’s half a mile away.  Even a slight breeze will skew any lengthy shot or pass. For a bit of fun on the beach take a Frisbee – at least this can double as plastic plate when reversed.