Changing and handling money

  When changing money, unless you have a hefty bill to pay somewhere, it is best to shun the 500 and 1000 notes. Try to get as many 50 Rupee notes as possible, as these are by far the most useful. The 10 notes are handy too, but can get bulky in your wallet. The most common notes are probably 100’s. The reasons for favouring smaller notes are various:

1. the 100 and 500 notes are horribly similar in design, and it’s easy to get them mixed up

2. vendors do not always have change

3. by handing over larger notes as payment, you increase the chances of getting short changed

4. by slight of hand, a vendor might turn a 500 note into a 100 note.   

  As intimated above, the 500 Rupee notes look distressingly like the 100 Rupee notes, and a common scam is to switch a 500 for a 100, then claim that more money is needed. This is a particularly vexing scam. If in a taxi, for example, you pay a Rs. Rs. 350/-  fare with a Rs. 500/- note, and a driver does the switch, not only do you lose Rs. Rs. 400/- but you still have to pay another Rs. 250/- ! After such a ruse, the driver can take the day off. When handing over Rs. 500/-, or even Rs. 1000/- notes, it is important to say the amount you are handing over out loud. Once he has nodded, it is highly unlikely he will try it on. Travellers also report the opposite, where they hand over a bunch of hundreds, only to be handed back one note because it was a Rs. 500/-, so it is possible that the poor driver/waiter/cashier etc. might even be telling the truth when he or she complains of a counting error, accordingly, a quick verbal confirmation as you are handing over the money keeps everybody safe and happy.

  One simple ruse is for trixters to claim to have not been paid after money has already been handed over. A simple countermeasure is to make some comment every time you hand over cash, for example: “here’s the money, I have the exact amount.” After this, if need be, you can simply refer back to your previous conversation to prove that the money was handed over.

  When I first arrived in India in 1999 the money change kiosk at Bombay’s airport switched one of my £20.00 notes for a £10.00 note. I was too tired and bewildered to kick up a fuss, so I let the matter slide. But from then on I learnt to keep my eyes glued to the teller’s hands, especially at airports. If a teller starts counting the money out of view, immediately ask him to count it before your eyes. Nowadays, after such an incident, I would immediately report the matter to the “airport officer”.

  My second mistake that night, was to change £400.00 in one go, or should I say £390.00 – as I had just been robbed £10.00. In exchange I was given huge wads of small currency notes, which is quite usual. I then had to stuff these into various pockets, as if I had just robbed a bank. Unless you intend to make a large purchase, changing such large amounts is unnecessary and impractical. 

  Do not forget to keep the encashment slip (receipt) from the moneychanger, as you have to show these when you buy train tickets at the tourist quota offices. You need them when changing rupees into another hard currency when going back home and, for those wishing to stay more than six months, when you apply for your visa extension you will need certificates to prove you have been changing money throughout your stay and not earning money while you are in India. Ordinary Indian citizens are restricted from buying and selling currency unless they can prove an overseas trip. On several occasions Indian strangers have given me US dollars so as to buy them Rupees. I always did them the favour and have never heard of this being a ruse for a scam.

  It is always best to change money at proper establishments and not with private individuals and strangers. Firstly, such transactions are illegal; secondly, even if you are approached by somebody offering a very favourable exchange rate, he might be offloading counterfeit Rupees for hard currency. The mere possession of a counterfeit Indian currency note is an offence punishable by three to seven years of imprisonment. The Indian government often accuses neighbouring Pakistan of injecting fraudulent banknotes into the Indian economy. In 2006, India’s Central Bureau of Intelligence accused a Pakistani government printing press in Quetta of churning out large quantities of counterfeit Indian currency. 

  Try not to use credit cards in India unless absolutely necessary, some illicit shopkeepers are adept at running off additional slips and forging signatures. Stories abound where tourists have returned from there holidays to find fictitious purchases on their credit card bill. Some restaurants may tell you that your credit card has been declined when in reality there is no problem; this is a game they play when they prefer cash.

   The Indian government is quite bad at disposing of decaying currency. Rupees just seem to be used over and over until they fall to pieces or end up as grimy and tattered paper debris; often in the hands of unsuspecting tourists.

  Indian vendors insist on perfect notes, as if the ragged ones were not legal tender. To make the situation worse, thick wads of bank notes are always stapled together, so many of their notes are undermined with multiple punctures, and can be further damaged when you try to liberate your money from the iron grasp of these thick staples. If you can avoid them, don't accept badly torn notes. Retailers love to unload them onto unfussy tourists, but time and again won't accept them themselves.

   It’s possible to get rid of torn notes by having an “it’s that or nothing mate” attitude towards shopkeepers, and you can threaten to walk away unless they accept your jaded banknote. They usually cave in, as they consider losing a sale the greater of the two evils.

  If you have got nothing better to do on a rainy day, you can do a subtle repair job on your ripped notes with tiny slithers of Sellotape. The strips should not easily be visible as Indians do not care for bandaged notes either, but if the repair job is delicate enough, they can be passed on.

   A money belt can be a scratchy and awkward item to wear each and every day. A flat pouch that you wear across your body and under your clothing is less obtrusive and big enough to take both your tickets and passport. It is a better idea to keep your notes folded or flat within it. Never roll them up in bundles with elastic bands, as these fall out far easier.

  British pounds, Euros, Australian, Canadian and American dollars are all easy to change to India, but travellers cheques in Euros or dollars are easier to change. AmEx and Thom. Cooke seem to be equally appreciated, although I have heard that AmEx replace stolen cheques quicker. Some places charge a commission on changing travellers cheques, but most don’t.

   If you wish to have money transferred to you, Western Union offers a consummate service. They can even deliver the cash to your door, but Western Union does not cover all of India. If you want to have funds transferred into an Indian bank account, give the process at least a week and make sure that the transfer is in Indian Rupees, and not in your own currency. Indian banks can give an extremely poor exchange rate conversion that borders on embezzlement. If you argue that the exchange rate is wrong, the bank staff will simply shrug their shoulders and mumble something about their head office. The overseas transferring bank can easily make a conversion their end and at a normal rate. The paperwork in India will then clearly state how many Rupees the Indian bank owes and there can be little argument about the matter.

Do not exchange your money back from Rupees to your currency at the airport when returning home - you will be ripped off by the rate!

Don't underestimate costs in India

  India is not an expensive country, but you must consider what type of lifestyle you are going to want whilst you are there. Yes, it is perfectly true that you can find a room, and eat, for less than five dollars a day in many places, but it will be Indian food and your room will be devoid of hot water, air-conditioning and, as for a TV – no way! Personally, I would feel awkward with less than U$10 a day, but quite happy with U$20. In 2004, for example, I took U$5,000 spending money on a six-month jaunt around South Asia. Admittedly, for most of that time, I staid in ordinary hotels without TV or AC, but I did go out almost every night and took half a dozen domestic flights to boot, at the end of which I only had a little money left over.

  In the coastal areas of Goa, there are none of the cheap and cheerful Indian restaurants you find elsewhere in India, and there are no cheap roadside eateries thereabouts either. I don’t know whether cheap Indian eateries in coastal Goa get threatened by other owners, or whether it’s pure market forces that make them raise the all the prices, but either way, you will not get a meal for fifty cents. On an over-tight budget, you may find yourself like some forlorn beggar: looking longingly at the spendthrift lifestyles of your compatriots. At sundown, whilst they are partying in some hip restaurant, you will be elsewhere, lingering the night away. It is best to have a free-spending good time for two months, rather than travel on a tight budget for three. 

  A good 750-ml. bottle of beer can cost U$1.75; a decent room with amenities will cost you U$10.00 a night in most places, so it is quite easy to blow U$25 a day. This is still very good value when compared to developed countries, but it is not as ridiculously cheap as some people would imagine. You cannot “live like a king” for a few dollars a day – sorry.

  Do not come to India with U$2000.00 for six months, that’s for sure. Some things in India are actually more expensive than in the West, per kilometre Indian flights are very costly, and phone calls are overpriced. It is usually cheaper to phone India, rather than phone from India. Ask the hotel you are staying in if you can receive a phone call there, then SMS or e-mail a time and number to those who wish to call. You might even want to leave some phone cards with your loved ones at home. One scam is for hotels to double or triple the price of your outgoing call to make more profit – which is yet more incentive to receive calls rather than make them. (At the time of writing, the type of call cards where you reveal a code and call a local number via which an international call can be made, do not seem to be available in India.)  

Intruders

  Don't tempt people with unlocked luggage. Never leave an unlocked suitcase in a hotel room. You can buy cable locks, which can be used to lock your luggage together and onto a piece of furniture. Keep in mind that room locks can be picked and hotels always have spares. If you return to find a hotel employee in your room, they will generally have a feeble excuse for being there, for instance, they might say that your room was already open and they were checking to see whether everything was OK. Do not leave items near open barred windows. You would be surprised at the number of petty items that can be swiped from ground floor windowsills: like a half used deodorant stick or a personal notebook full of incoherent musings - anything!

   Even in the better hotels, reception desks are frequently unattended. The room keys are typically kept in an drawer or on hooks. This can lead to opportunistic "borrowing" by strangers.

  Hotel thieves will hesitate to cut open suitcases, as when this happens it can prompt police action, whereas when they pick a lock, theft is harder to prove. Nobody will have the time to pick locks whilst you are travelling on a train or bus, but within the private confides of a hotel room, it’s a different matter. Combination locks are superior and take too long for thieves to fathom the code at random, even if it’s only three digits. Ordinary locks are less convenient than combinations as people are prone to losing the keys! This is probably one of those ‘teaching your granny to suck eggs’ things, but it’s worth mentioning to choose a number of personal significance, such as part of an address, birthday or phone number. This will prevent horrible memory blocks. Never use 1234.

  Some countries, like the U.S., require you to keep airline baggage unlocked or to use simple locks easily opened by security personnel. In this post 9/11 world they will have no qualms about busting open your case if it is sealed with a combination. If you are traveling from such a country, place a removable sticker next to the lock, which clearly states CODE: 3586, (whatever it is) or place duct tape over a combination lock to keep it from accidentally closing and your lock being smashed open by overzealous baggage inspectors.

  Try not to place your luggage on hotel floors. Pipes can break or leak, leaving floors an inch deep in water. During an exceptional monsoon storm, some areas can also get partially flooded or roofs might develop leaks.

  Furthermore, poisonous bugs might crawl into your baggage. Once in a Public Works Dept. room on North Andaman, I lifted a carelessly discarded shirt, and found, to my horror, a huge centipede napping beneath it. It was probably eight or nine inches long but at the time it appeared to be the size of a small snake - like something out of a horror movie. In an instant I threw the shirt back down again.

   A hundred scaly feet then scurried across the wooden floor towards the bathroom door, where it found a small place to lurk in a crack beneath a small doorstep. I chose to ignore it, as it seemed to be quite content to hide itself. I even went and had a shower.

  Back at Port Blair (South Andaman) my friend Jens and I visited a delightful restaurant called the China Room run by a Burmese couple. I happened to mention the monstrous centipede to the waiter - who doubled as the owner. He told me that if a black one bites your foot or hand, it will swell up to twice its normal size, but if a brown one bites you, you must immediately seek medical attention.

  I thought the creature was black but Jens -who also saw it- swore it was brown. Whatever its race, I realised that I should have forgone my morning ablutions: my bare foot having been but a few feet away from its venomous jaws.

  Aside from giant centipedes, other squatters in your baggage might include an Indian spider closely related to the black widow (Latrodectus hasseltii indicus) which has a neurotoxic poison, or scorpions - someone once compared the sting of a scorpion with the punch of a full-grown man giving it all he had. The smaller scorpions are the most venomous. 

  As an interesting aside, Jens told me that when he was in Borneo, he delved inside his backpack only to be viciously stung and bitten. He retrieved his hand to find a huge beetle-like bug attached to it! Again, this was probably the result of leaving his pack on the floor.

Bin Liners / Plastic Sacks

If you're planning on trekking, travelling by bike or just moving around during monsoon, dustbin bags or rucksack liners (very heavy duty plastic sacks) are a good idea to keep clothes and general rucksack contents dry.  If you're mad enough to travel in the Monsoon season pack everything into a bin bag inside your suitcase, that way after you've spent all day on a bus (in my case Delhi to Baijnath HP) when your luggage is taken from the top of the bus everything inside will be dry. I learnt this lesson the hard way my bag was at the front, and on top of of the bus, the bin liner my Daughter suggested I take was neatly folded inside my case. Big mistake.

Sports bags are evil

  You may end up looking less like a hardcore traveller, but wheeled luggage is definitely something to consider. It will relieve you of a great burden and make you less reliant upon others. Wheeled luggage is hopeless for overland trekking and camping, but if your wanderings are restricted to cities, towns and civilized coastal areas, then you may as well let the ground bear the brunt of the weight rather than your back or arms. Some Indian pavements may not be wheel friendly, but generally speaking, you will get by – I certainly did. Many Indians tend to walk on the roads anyway.

  The wheels should be close to the bottom corners: this offers the greatest manoeuvrability and rolling comfort. Do not purchase a brand where the wheels are set too close together, as these tend to wobble when towed. Some of the better cases can either be towed horizontally on four multidirectional wheels or can be pulled along on two wheels with a handle. Invest in a good brand, like Samsonite, as your luggage will have a hard life over there. The last thing you need are broken straps and handles.  Try to buy a case in an unconventional colour, like red or green, so it can be spotted easier at a distance. This is handy if a thief is surreptitiously carting it away in a crowded place, and it will be easier to describe if it gets lost. Don’t worry about the colour drawing attention to the case itself, as from the outset, anything you carry will already have the wrong people’s interest.

  Sports bags are atrocious. They are fine for throwing on the backseat of your car and for the local gymnasium but should NEVER be used for long distance travelling. They cut painfully into your shoulder, strain your arms and get in your way when you walk. Even amongst the better brands, straps and handles still seem to break - and then you’re up the Ganges without a paddle.

   If you buy a backpack, think carefully about the size. If you buy a huge one, then you will be tempted to fill it to capacity. When you're carting around a backpack the size of a Fiat in the pre-monsoon heat, you're likely to regret it. If you are not packing a tent, buy a modest size pack. This will force you to travel light. I could give lots of clever advise about backpacks, but the best thing to do is visit a camping store and try them on for size, as it is not always the most expensive or advanced that will suit you the best. Try buying a heavy bag of groceries just before entering the shop, then put your shopping bag into any backpack you try on. Do this as most will feel comfortable when empty.  

   Look out for modifiable back systems, which allow you to slide the pack up and down your back until you're comfortable. Solid back supports are crucial, these toughen up a pack and stops it lumping into your back - which can be very uncomfortable, and YKK zips, which are corrosion resistant and heavy-duty zips that prevent zippers breaking at awkward moments.

  Do not be overimpressed with copious pockets and pouches, as most of these will not be lockable, and even if they are, you will end up with lots of fiddly little keys. Somewhere between Madras and Port Blair, I once had a good water bottle stolen from a pouch in my backpack. The poverty in India is such that for some people almost anything is worth stealing; as a result, all those side compartments, pouches, zips, flaps and straps are just an invitation to robbery. As already mentioned, solid ergonomic backpacks with hard plastic (polycarbonate) casings are the most secure.

Chains & Security

  Always chain up your bags in hotels and on trains – be paranoid. Getting stuff stolen is of course something that happens to other people – until it happens to you. I too thought I was sufficiently conscientious about chaining up my bag and thought I was quite capable of keeping an eye on things: but the thieves are good – very good. In my case, I had just boarded a train in Madras when there was a minor kafuffle concerning a problem with my ticket. It turned out that I was in the wrong carriage. After just a minute’s unintentional distraction, my bag was gone. I had not even had chance to chain it up! Opportunistic thieves linger around the major stations and they will momentarily board trains for which they have no tickets. As a foreigner, it is likely you will be followed, but the thief will not pounce unless an opportunity presents itself. Be suspicious, and don’t let down your guard until your bags are secured

  As for my own cautionary tale, I arrived in Calcutta a day later and informed the British Consulate that I had lost my passport. Luckily, I had not been travelling on that particular document, but it was still incumbent upon me to report the theft. The staff were most understanding and told me that eighty percent (I repeat, eighty percent) of all reported passport thefts were from trains.

  You can use your smaller bags containing your most treasured possessions and valuables as pillows on trains or busses, but do not lean them too near open barred windows. Beneath the lower benches, trains also have little built-in wires with hooks on the end, so you can even manage with just a padlock.  If you do buy a chain, get a good quality steel one from home rather than buy a tinny Indian one purchased from a railway platform, alternatively buy a bike cable. The thicker the cable width, the harder it is to sever but it will also be less bendable and heavier. Cables should be of the multi-wound multi "braided" type. Long lengths (up to 6 feet or 1.8m) come in a coiled form and are easy to carry in your bag. For hardcore “don’t mess with my stuff” protection, try an armoured lock. These gizmos are essentially a cable lock with a succession of articulated barrels through which the cable passes. The cable itself is not discernible through the armour. The barrels have a propensity to rotate if a thief attempts to saw through one, since they can revolve independently of any other barrel "link". In extreme circumstances, these heavy chains or cables can also be used in self-defence.

   When locking zippers, make sure you thread the padlock through the bases of the tabs, and not through the big loops at the end. It can be a little awkward fitting it through, but it's crucial. If you only lock the two grips together, it's then quite straightforward to put a hand or even an arm through. Give this a go and you will see what I mean.

  One interesting new product is a high-tensile, flexible stainless steel mesh sack, which incorporates a series of slash-proof, stainless-steel cables with an adjustable draw wire and padlock loop. This surrounds your pack/bag like a web, and can lock on to any post, piece of furniture, tree etc. Its best point is that a thief can’t simply cut a strap to bypass a lock. On the down side, this product is heavy and fiddly to get on and off. The holes in the mesh are wide enough to stick a hand through, so the thief can simply open the backpack through the mesh and slide valuables through the gaps. A backpacker can only hope that the extra time needed for this operation would discourage a prospective thief.

  Better still, are suitcases and ergonomic backpacks with hard plastic (polycarbonate) casings. These cannot be slashed with razors, they are lightweight but extremely impact resistant – a definite plus if you are taking a laptop. There are reports in Delhi airport of baggage handlers slashing open fabric suitcases with a razor and stealing items. A polycarbonate case or pack will definitely prevent this.

  When using a shoulder bag, use one with an extra long strap that you can put over your head and wear across the body. This will make it difficult for thieves on motorbikes to snatch it off your person.

Baggage - Travel Light

   The essence of India is the rejection of material encumbrances so get with the program! On a less metaphysical level, heavy luggage will be a real pain in the butt. With a load of twenty or thirty kilos, you would have a dredful time getting on and off boats, walking up hills, hiking moderate distances and hotel hunting. At train stations you will be at the mercy of porters who will at best rip you off, at worst, run off with your luggage. Taxi drivers will use your bags as an excuse to charge you more, and may even refuse to retrieve them from a locked boot unless you cough up. Moreover, the fewer luggage items you have, the lesser the challenge of guarding against thieves.

  India has a vibrant Capitalist economy and there are shops everywhere, so you don’t need to buy everything at home. Our problem is mainly psychological. We all tell ourselves we need so many items, when in truth we could quite happily do without them. Aside from certain objects discussed below, in essence, you only need three or four changes of clothing, with a week’s worth of socks and underwear. If one day you run out of clean clothing, then pick up a cheap hippy-dippy item at a local market. It will probably fade and fall apart after a month - but who cares. You can get cool, comfortable clothing tailor made there for very small cost and have a bit of fun choosing your own designs and fabrics. Silk is often fake (more about that later), but Indian cotton is satisfactory and inexpensive. If you are very tall or "plus size" you won't find much in the way of readymade clothing and you will have to seek out a tailor. These are plentiful and usually use antique-looking peddle operated machines, which save on electricity bills and power cut stoppages.   

   Even if you like reading, do not worry too much about packing books. Pack one juicy title as a back up, but if you take more, all of a sudden you will be carrying an extra kilo. There are many second hand bookshops in India and you will be amazed at the wonderful smudged and creased tomes travellers have left behind over the years. There is also a vibrant English language book publishing industry within India. It churns out everything from racy novels to politically incorrect reprints from the Raj era. The trick then, is, to buy books as you go, and after that, recycle by selling, gifting or abandoning.  

  Newspapers and the likes of India Today (their vesion of Newsweek) are really dirt-cheap. As India is a fairly democratic open society, many articles are remarkably honest and hard hitting. The most astonishing news articles are often the tiny one or two paragraph affairs buried amongst the inner pages: tales of bizarre village life and suburban mayhem, which rarely make it onto the internet. A few months of reading these, will tell you more about modern India than any book.

Torch

  Up to half the nation’s output of electricity is stolen through illegal hook-ups. Slum dwellers just find the nearest overhead power cable, sling a metal hook over it, then run a wire from the hook to the home. Sometimes inspectors arrive to disconnect these, in which case people simply wait for a few hours until the inspectors have gone then throw over another hook. Up until 2003, this was not even a criminal offence. In some areas, politicians refuse to allow the disconnection of certain villages - even though nobody has paid a Rupee for power in years - simply because the villagers vote for his party.

  You may well ask what all this has to do with you, well the short answer is that all this free electricity for the underprivileged has bankrupted the Indian electricity industry and they cannot afford to keep up with demand. So, more than just a few times, you are likely to be plunged into darkness by a local power-cut.

  These power-cuts are often referred to as ‘load shedding’ - which happens when demand exceeds supply. In the major cities and the Goan costal strip, power supply is pretty good, but elsewhere there might be two or three power cuts a day – in most states. A power outage might last five minutes or five hours. They tend to happen most when you are watching a good TV movie and are just ten minutes short of the ending, or when you are walking through a dodgy area at night. 

   In a nutshell, you will need a torch, but don’t go all cheap on yourself and buy something Made in China for a couple of dollars. The second you drop it onto a concrete floor – it’s history. Neither should you go to the other extreme and bring something like a big metal Maglite: a torch should not be a cumbersome part of your gear. A reliable bright and robust product, which fits in the palm of your hand, such as a MityLite Magnum, will do. For optimum reliability, go for flashlights that use LEDs (Light Emitting Diodes) instead of conventional incandescent bulbs. The LED light is also white, not yellowish like filament bulbs. Use only alkaline or lithium batteries for flashlights; never use old-fashioned zinc-carbon batteries.

Helmets

  Motorbikes or mopeds are easy to hire and cheap. The extra mobility will intensify your holiday experience and save many arguments with rickshaw drivers. If you are visiting Goa, you can explore the unspoilt inland villages, tucked away coastal communities and whitewashed Catholic churches - that is: the real Goa that exists just a few miles away from your hotel. In Benaulim for example, there are excellent rooms and apartments for rent about a mile or two inland, but without a personal vehicle these are too inconveniently located to enjoy. 

   Helmets are optional in India, and even in states where their use is enforced by law, they still seem optional. The people that will rent you a two-wheeled vehicle will probably offer no helmets at all, or if they do, they will probably be too small (Indians have smaller heads) or will be of an unusual design which looks completely preposterous once perched upon your head - it might even be a construction-site hardhat! Rather than look like Mr. Bean, you will probably opt to feel the thrill of the wind in your hair – and I wouldn’t blame you. The effect on your local beachcred would be horrendous.  

  Taking a cool full-faced motorbike helmet would probably be an excessive addition to your baggage, but a high quality stylish cycling helmet with fancy colours and design flourishes, wouldn’t. No helmet can offer 100% guaranteed protection, and a cycling helmet is not recommended for a two-wheeled motorised vehicle - but it’s significantly better than nothing – or a construction-site hardhat. 

  The helmet should be close fitting all the way round. Small gaps can be filled using the soft foam pads generally supplied. Basic bicycle helmets are pretty cheap, as they are manufactured from expanded foam polystyrene - similar to the type of stuff disposable coffee cups are made from. This material is easy to dent by crushing as it contains millions of microscopic air pockets. The process of crushing absorbs the energy of the impact. It is worth bearing in mind that your head is the often the first part of your body to make impact during a crash. Your brain can also dent and absorb energy during impact, but expanded foam polystyrene is better.

  If you don’t need it back home, on your last day you might want to give it away to a friendly helmetless Indian with a bike – you might save a life.  

Keep copies of important documents

Goa

Make two photocopies of valuables such as your tickets, passport, visas and travellers' cheques. Leave one copy with someone at home and keep another copy with you in a separate place to the originals. For extra safety, scan all your credit cards, immunization records, travellers cheques, passport etc., and put an electronic copy in your email. Bring some extra passport-size photos just in case you need to extend your visa.

  I kept my passport and money on my person all the time in a pouch underneath my clothes. It can sometimes feel a little awkward but it’s worth the peace of mind. If your passport is stolen or lost, an exit visa is required to depart from India. Exit visas can be obtained by presenting a police report to the Foreigners Registration Office (New Delhi, Bombay, Madras and Calcutta).

Visiting India for the first time? Take a guidebook.

Calcutta

Guidebooks are necessary - as a sort of safety net - in most destinations, so anybody that tells you to throw your guidebook in the bin is mistaken – to put it politely.  The complacent individuals who dish out such advice probably spent their time in some easy coastal tourist trap, on package tours, or never really bothered exploring the country in any depth. A good guidebook gives well over a thousand pages of information, if just five percent of it proves useful, that is still a sizeable chunk of valuable data.

  There are several decent publishers of guidebooks for India. None of their products are perfect; all have their foibles and errors: in one famous publication (LP), I noticed that they even had a state capital wrong. Yes, they are also pricey and heavy; nevertheless, when all is said and done, they are a necessary evil. Size here really is everything: India is vast and complex, so any guidebook worth its salt has to be sizeable.  Publications that run to just a few hundred pages and are replete with large text and too many cute glossy pictures, may make nice editions to your bookshelf or coffee table, but they won’t help you much when you are there.

  Don’t think you can simply purchase information on the ground either. Guidebooks published in India are, from what I have seen, embarrassingly inane. For example, I once purchased a Calcutta guidebook at a train station bookstall. I sat myself down on a plastic chair and thumbed through it in the vain hope of finding out exactly where it was all happening in crazy Calcutta. Amongst other fascinating information, it informed me that coal was the “major mineral resource in West Bengal, of which 92% falls into the non-coking variety, 7% is the blendable grade and 1% is medium coking….” and thus it continued. I skipped the next five pages on rock phosphate and tungsten-ores until I got to the smaller accommodation section. The names of the selected Calcutta hotels were listed alphabetically along with their addresses, without recommendations and with no indication as to room prices - which rendered the information useless. Likewise, there were no details of restaurants, bars or bowling allies and all the other stuff those fickle and frivolous tourists such as I would wish to know about. On the other hand, had I wanted to know the whereabouts of the “West Bengal Ceramic Development Corporation” or the “Directorate of Smoke Nuisance”, I would have been well catered for by this fine publication. It is a paradox that India does not produce the best tourist information about India - but it’s a fact: even the best locally produced publications are inadequate. Part of the problem may be that homegrown Indian authors cannot properly understand our peculiar foreign tastes and the unfamiliar challenges we face.

  Even if you intend to take pre-paid guided tours everywhere, some unscrupulous and imaginative Indian travel agents, or touts, will make up stories regarding certain destinations just to make a sale! So even with prepaid tours, it is always good to cross-reference with a guidebook!

What Not To Take

Meghalaya

  Once in Vijayawada (Andhra Pradesh) I decided to shed some of my baggage. For three months, I had been carrying around two ridiculously heavy sports bags and now one of them had to go. I resolved to fill one of the bags with my surplus items and unload the unwanted goods upon some grateful beggar. Strangely enough, on that particular morning I had difficulty finding a beggar, I must have been the only foreigner on the subcontinent wanting to be begged from – yet for hours none were forthcoming. When I actually encountered one, her hand extended in heartfelt supplication, she became strangely annoyed as I handed over my entire bag. I then turned my back and fled.

  My weighty predicament had, in part, been caused by bogus advice from a supposedly authoritative guidebook. It had instructed me to take such things as a spare sheet and a mosquito net – even a sink plug.

  Mosquito nets should have been fazed-out in the early 20^th century, along with wind-up gramophones and Penny Farthing bicycles. In one hundred Indian hotel rooms, from Goa to Guwahati, I rarely found anything to hook the thing on to, and when I did, I found that it obstructed the much-needed cool breeze from the ceiling fan, creating an uncomfortable pocket of warm air. I have visited over a dozen Indian states, and have never encountered mosquitoes in such numbers that they would interrupt my sleep (unlike my experiences in South America) and as for malaria prevention – there are better ways! Mosquito coils however, cost a pittance and are available everywhere. They can sometimes leave dryness in your mouth upon waking, but it is a small price to pay. Do not buy the fancy plug-in electric repellents from home they do not work during power cuts.  

 A small minority of Indian hotels lack sheets and just provide mattress coverings. On the plains and coastal regions during most of the year, it is usually so hot that sheets are unnecessary anyway. Whilst in the hills and mountains, you don’t need sheets – you need blankets or sleeping bags: but warm bedding is invariably provided.

  As for the lesser matter of a one-size-fits-all sink and bath plug - it’s equally pointless. People don’t take baths in a tub in India so, customarily, your hotel room will not be equipped with such a decadent foreign item. As for the sink, if there’s no plug – so what! It’s unlikely you will get a hot water tap (sometimes even if you pay for running hot water, you may not get it), so just let the cold water run. If that’s not good water conservation, blame it on the hotel.

  Aside from the unnecessary weight of these items, you must also consider the cost. In your home country, they could quite easily set you back the equivalent of five thousand rupees: a senseless sacrifice of good beer money.

  Do not take an expensive or treasured lighter to India. They are not allowed on board Indian planes (unless in your suitcase) and Indian customs officials usually confiscate them - and probably do a handy profitable sideline in foreign lighters. If the customs officers don’t get them, a petty thief will, or you will accidentally leave it in a bar or hotel room. One way or another, India will be the last place your good lighter ever goes. Buy local disposable ones instead, but don’t throw cheap Indian lighters around, as they can explode on impact. I found this out in Goa when a Scottish friend in Goa threw one at a house gecko.

  Invest in suncream but do not bring large or even medium sized bottles of shampoo and conditioner. Indian products are fine and can be purchased in sachets from most Indian kiosks. Good perfumes or colognes are also a waste of space, as you tend to sweat more in the tropics, which means that fragrances do not have a real chance of permeating into the skin.

  An inflatable pillow is an exquisitely useless item. If you travel by train, you will receive pillows in the AC classes. On aeroplanes, you get pillows. If you use one on the beach, you will look like an idiot. In hotels, yes, they have got pillows as well, if they prove too hard, or small, just roll up a towel and use that. If it is an unpleasantly dirty hotel pillow, you should simply wrap it with a clean lungi or dhoti. So, just where are you going to use an inflatable pillow? OK – buses, but it’s unlikely that you will travel far by bus – and if you do, then stop it! It’s more comfortable and safer to go long distances by train or plane. 

  Beach ball – another inflatable piece of garbage. You cannot play soccer with it - one strong gust of wind, and suddenly it’s half a mile away.  Even a slight breeze will skew any lengthy shot or pass. For a bit of fun on the beach take a Frisbee – at least this can double as plastic plate when reversed. 

Plan - but be flexible

Calcutta

Before you go, read your selected guidebook as carefully as you can. There are over one hundred worthwhile areas to visit. You can only hope to see five, ten or at most twenty percent of these in one trip, so carefully take into account your personal tastes and expectations – for which a little research is called for.

  India is a big country. The length of overland journeys from one end of the nation to the other, are comparable to those within Australia, Brazil and the USA. India is deceptively BIG, so you are probably best restricting your wanderings to destinations within the same corner of the subcontinent, or at least arrange them in a logical geographical manner, like stepping-stones.

The south probably offers the easiest introduction to this wonderful nation, as the pace of life is less frenetic and everybody seems to agree that the southerners can be more easygoing. Find out the dry season and monsoon season in the area you are visiting. Touring in full monsoon is, at best, impractical. Check your flight times and try not to arrive in India in the very early hours of the morning – as is common. If you have no choice but to arrive in the dead of night or before dawn, you should pre-book your first night’s hotel room over the internet or contact a hotel through your guidebook. In these circumstances, it is best not to economize on your first night. You do not want to go touring the backstreets of an unknown Third World city, looking for your budget digs, at 2:30 am! If you have booked an expensive hotel on the internet, it is likely that they will also be able to pick you up from the airport as well – regardless of the hour.

  Do not try to cram too much into your holiday. Going from A to B by bus or train in India can be stressful and draining. Trying to see too much too quickly might even taint your entire trip. Once you have arrived at any desired point you should consider staying for at least ten days, with the exception of Agra – for reasons that will be explained later. Don’t make rigid plans either, I guarantee that they will somehow fall apart: you will meet new friends who will draw you off to unexpected places, you will be compelled to linger in some spots longer, and in other cases you may well leave early. Make a list of places that you would like to see and place them in a convenient geographical order - and don’t stress about completing the list, there is always another year!

  If you want to party it up, there's not much nightlife outside Goa, Kovalam and the main cities of Bangalore, Delhi and Bombay. On the east coast, Mamallapuram and Calcutta have a moderate nightlife scene whereas Madras is quite sedate. 

  You have a vast amount of information on the internet but it’s a chore sorting out the good sites from the bad - the helpful from the irrelevant. To facilitate easy web surfing, here are some trustworthy websites. Incidentally, if you have any complaints after your trip -or compliments- you can also contact the relevant authorities through these websites.

Air India                                             http://www.airindia.com/

Andaman and Nicobar Islands            http://andaman.nic.in/

Andhra Pradesh Tourism                    http://www.aptourism.com/

                                                          http://www.andhrapradesh.com
                                                          http://www.apinfrastructure.com

Arunachal Pradesh                              http://www.arunachaltourism.com/

                                                           http://arunachalpradesh.nic.in

Assam                                                 http://assamgovt.nic.in/

Bihar                                                   http://bihar.nic.in/
http://www.nic.in/ptdc/

Bombay (Airport)                               http://www.mumbaiairport.com/

Biman Bangladesh Airlines                http://www.bangladeshonline.com/biman/

British Airways                                   http://www.britishairways.com/

Chhattisgarh                                        http://cgtourism.nic.in/

Cottage Industry                                 http://www.cottageemporiumindia.com/

EL AL Israel Airlines                         http://www.elal.co.il/

Goa                                                     www.goacom.com
http://goagovt.nic.in
http://goatourism.nic.in
http://www.goatrip.com
http://www.goahub.com/goa/travel_guide
http://ruralbazargoa.nic.in
http://goamuseum.nic.in

Gujarat                                                http://www.gujarattourism.com/

Haryana                                              http://www.nic.in/htc/

Himachal Pradesh                                http://www.hptdc.nic.in/

Indian Airlines                                     http://indian-airlines.nic.in/

Indian Railways                                   http://www.indianrail.gov.in/

Indian Railways (online bookings)        http://irctc.co.in

Jet Airways                                         http://www.jetairways.com

Karnataka                                           http://kstdc.nic.in/

                                                           www.karnatakatourism.com

Kerala Tourism                                    http://www.keralatourism.org

Madhya Pradesh Tourism                    http://www.mptourism.com/

Maharashtra                                        http://www.maharashtra.gov.in
www.mumbainet.com

Manipur                                               http://manipur.nic.in/

Meghalaya                                           http://meghalaya.nic.in
www.meghalayatourism.com

Neemrana Fort Palace                         http://www.nivalink.com/fortneemrana/

New Delhi                                           http://www.newdelhi.net/defaultr.htm

New Delhi (Airport)                           http://www.delhiairport.com/

North Eastern Region                         http://www.northeast.nic.in

Orissa                                                  http://www.orissa-tourism.com/

Palace on Wheels                                http://www.palaceonwheels.net/new/home.htm

Pondicherry                                         http://www.tourisminpondicherry.com

Punjab                                                 http://www.nic.in/ptdc/
punjabgovt.nic.in/page2
chandigarh.nic.in

Qantas Airways Ltd.                            http://www.qantas.com/

Qatar Airways Ltd.                              http://qatarairways.com/

Rajasthan                                             http://www.rajgovt.org
http://www.rajasthantourism.gov.in

SATTE                                                http://www.satte.org

Sikkim                                                 http://sikkim.nic.ind
http://www.sikkimtourism.org

Singapore Airlines                               http://www.singaporeair.com/

Tamil Nadu                                         http://www.tamilnadutourism.org//
www.tidco.com

Thai Airways International                    http://www.thaiair.com/

Tripura                                                 http://tripura.nic.in

United Airlines                                      http://www.ual.com/

Uttar Pradesh                                       http://www.up-tourism.com/

WTI (World Travel India)                     http://www.worldtravelindia.com/

Youth Hostels Association of India        http://www.yhaindia.org/

  India is an affordable place to take extremely long holidays; moreover, their government happily gives no-fuss six month visas to all and sundry. If you are able to leave home for months on end without negative consequences, and the allure of tropical beaches and incessant leisure is strong, then India might be exactly what you are looking for.

    If you don’t like what you see during the first few days or weeks - persevere!  Try checking out a completely different place to that which you are in: if the cities are grating your nerves, head for the southern coastal regions. If you find fault with the coastal regions, head for the mountains. If you don’t like the mountains, there are always picturesque deserts and tropical islands. If you object to all the squalor and bad service, try the Palace on Wheels! Trust me, within this great nation you will find your own personal Shangrila. Some disillusioned and compulsive travellers have contacted their airline and cut short their visit, only to regret the decision days before they leave.