Visiting India for the first time? Take a guidebook.

Calcutta

Guidebooks are necessary - as a sort of safety net - in most destinations, so anybody that tells you to throw your guidebook in the bin is mistaken – to put it politely.  The complacent individuals who dish out such advice probably spent their time in some easy coastal tourist trap, on package tours, or never really bothered exploring the country in any depth. A good guidebook gives well over a thousand pages of information, if just five percent of it proves useful, that is still a sizeable chunk of valuable data.

  There are several decent publishers of guidebooks for India. None of their products are perfect; all have their foibles and errors: in one famous publication (LP), I noticed that they even had a state capital wrong. Yes, they are also pricey and heavy; nevertheless, when all is said and done, they are a necessary evil. Size here really is everything: India is vast and complex, so any guidebook worth its salt has to be sizeable.  Publications that run to just a few hundred pages and are replete with large text and too many cute glossy pictures, may make nice editions to your bookshelf or coffee table, but they won’t help you much when you are there.

  Don’t think you can simply purchase information on the ground either. Guidebooks published in India are, from what I have seen, embarrassingly inane. For example, I once purchased a Calcutta guidebook at a train station bookstall. I sat myself down on a plastic chair and thumbed through it in the vain hope of finding out exactly where it was all happening in crazy Calcutta. Amongst other fascinating information, it informed me that coal was the “major mineral resource in West Bengal, of which 92% falls into the non-coking variety, 7% is the blendable grade and 1% is medium coking….” and thus it continued. I skipped the next five pages on rock phosphate and tungsten-ores until I got to the smaller accommodation section. The names of the selected Calcutta hotels were listed alphabetically along with their addresses, without recommendations and with no indication as to room prices - which rendered the information useless. Likewise, there were no details of restaurants, bars or bowling allies and all the other stuff those fickle and frivolous tourists such as I would wish to know about. On the other hand, had I wanted to know the whereabouts of the “West Bengal Ceramic Development Corporation” or the “Directorate of Smoke Nuisance”, I would have been well catered for by this fine publication. It is a paradox that India does not produce the best tourist information about India - but it’s a fact: even the best locally produced publications are inadequate. Part of the problem may be that homegrown Indian authors cannot properly understand our peculiar foreign tastes and the unfamiliar challenges we face.

  Even if you intend to take pre-paid guided tours everywhere, some unscrupulous and imaginative Indian travel agents, or touts, will make up stories regarding certain destinations just to make a sale! So even with prepaid tours, it is always good to cross-reference with a guidebook!

What Not To Take

Meghalaya

  Once in Vijayawada (Andhra Pradesh) I decided to shed some of my baggage. For three months, I had been carrying around two ridiculously heavy sports bags and now one of them had to go. I resolved to fill one of the bags with my surplus items and unload the unwanted goods upon some grateful beggar. Strangely enough, on that particular morning I had difficulty finding a beggar, I must have been the only foreigner on the subcontinent wanting to be begged from – yet for hours none were forthcoming. When I actually encountered one, her hand extended in heartfelt supplication, she became strangely annoyed as I handed over my entire bag. I then turned my back and fled.

  My weighty predicament had, in part, been caused by bogus advice from a supposedly authoritative guidebook. It had instructed me to take such things as a spare sheet and a mosquito net – even a sink plug.

  Mosquito nets should have been fazed-out in the early 20^th century, along with wind-up gramophones and Penny Farthing bicycles. In one hundred Indian hotel rooms, from Goa to Guwahati, I rarely found anything to hook the thing on to, and when I did, I found that it obstructed the much-needed cool breeze from the ceiling fan, creating an uncomfortable pocket of warm air. I have visited over a dozen Indian states, and have never encountered mosquitoes in such numbers that they would interrupt my sleep (unlike my experiences in South America) and as for malaria prevention – there are better ways! Mosquito coils however, cost a pittance and are available everywhere. They can sometimes leave dryness in your mouth upon waking, but it is a small price to pay. Do not buy the fancy plug-in electric repellents from home they do not work during power cuts.  

 A small minority of Indian hotels lack sheets and just provide mattress coverings. On the plains and coastal regions during most of the year, it is usually so hot that sheets are unnecessary anyway. Whilst in the hills and mountains, you don’t need sheets – you need blankets or sleeping bags: but warm bedding is invariably provided.

  As for the lesser matter of a one-size-fits-all sink and bath plug - it’s equally pointless. People don’t take baths in a tub in India so, customarily, your hotel room will not be equipped with such a decadent foreign item. As for the sink, if there’s no plug – so what! It’s unlikely you will get a hot water tap (sometimes even if you pay for running hot water, you may not get it), so just let the cold water run. If that’s not good water conservation, blame it on the hotel.

  Aside from the unnecessary weight of these items, you must also consider the cost. In your home country, they could quite easily set you back the equivalent of five thousand rupees: a senseless sacrifice of good beer money.

  Do not take an expensive or treasured lighter to India. They are not allowed on board Indian planes (unless in your suitcase) and Indian customs officials usually confiscate them - and probably do a handy profitable sideline in foreign lighters. If the customs officers don’t get them, a petty thief will, or you will accidentally leave it in a bar or hotel room. One way or another, India will be the last place your good lighter ever goes. Buy local disposable ones instead, but don’t throw cheap Indian lighters around, as they can explode on impact. I found this out in Goa when a Scottish friend in Goa threw one at a house gecko.

  Invest in suncream but do not bring large or even medium sized bottles of shampoo and conditioner. Indian products are fine and can be purchased in sachets from most Indian kiosks. Good perfumes or colognes are also a waste of space, as you tend to sweat more in the tropics, which means that fragrances do not have a real chance of permeating into the skin.

  An inflatable pillow is an exquisitely useless item. If you travel by train, you will receive pillows in the AC classes. On aeroplanes, you get pillows. If you use one on the beach, you will look like an idiot. In hotels, yes, they have got pillows as well, if they prove too hard, or small, just roll up a towel and use that. If it is an unpleasantly dirty hotel pillow, you should simply wrap it with a clean lungi or dhoti. So, just where are you going to use an inflatable pillow? OK – buses, but it’s unlikely that you will travel far by bus – and if you do, then stop it! It’s more comfortable and safer to go long distances by train or plane. 

  Beach ball – another inflatable piece of garbage. You cannot play soccer with it - one strong gust of wind, and suddenly it’s half a mile away.  Even a slight breeze will skew any lengthy shot or pass. For a bit of fun on the beach take a Frisbee – at least this can double as plastic plate when reversed. 

Plan - but be flexible

Calcutta

Before you go, read your selected guidebook as carefully as you can. There are over one hundred worthwhile areas to visit. You can only hope to see five, ten or at most twenty percent of these in one trip, so carefully take into account your personal tastes and expectations – for which a little research is called for.

  India is a big country. The length of overland journeys from one end of the nation to the other, are comparable to those within Australia, Brazil and the USA. India is deceptively BIG, so you are probably best restricting your wanderings to destinations within the same corner of the subcontinent, or at least arrange them in a logical geographical manner, like stepping-stones.

The south probably offers the easiest introduction to this wonderful nation, as the pace of life is less frenetic and everybody seems to agree that the southerners can be more easygoing. Find out the dry season and monsoon season in the area you are visiting. Touring in full monsoon is, at best, impractical. Check your flight times and try not to arrive in India in the very early hours of the morning – as is common. If you have no choice but to arrive in the dead of night or before dawn, you should pre-book your first night’s hotel room over the internet or contact a hotel through your guidebook. In these circumstances, it is best not to economize on your first night. You do not want to go touring the backstreets of an unknown Third World city, looking for your budget digs, at 2:30 am! If you have booked an expensive hotel on the internet, it is likely that they will also be able to pick you up from the airport as well – regardless of the hour.

  Do not try to cram too much into your holiday. Going from A to B by bus or train in India can be stressful and draining. Trying to see too much too quickly might even taint your entire trip. Once you have arrived at any desired point you should consider staying for at least ten days, with the exception of Agra – for reasons that will be explained later. Don’t make rigid plans either, I guarantee that they will somehow fall apart: you will meet new friends who will draw you off to unexpected places, you will be compelled to linger in some spots longer, and in other cases you may well leave early. Make a list of places that you would like to see and place them in a convenient geographical order - and don’t stress about completing the list, there is always another year!

  If you want to party it up, there's not much nightlife outside Goa, Kovalam and the main cities of Bangalore, Delhi and Bombay. On the east coast, Mamallapuram and Calcutta have a moderate nightlife scene whereas Madras is quite sedate. 

  You have a vast amount of information on the internet but it’s a chore sorting out the good sites from the bad - the helpful from the irrelevant. To facilitate easy web surfing, here are some trustworthy websites. Incidentally, if you have any complaints after your trip -or compliments- you can also contact the relevant authorities through these websites.

Air India                                             http://www.airindia.com/

Andaman and Nicobar Islands            http://andaman.nic.in/

Andhra Pradesh Tourism                    http://www.aptourism.com/

                                                          http://www.andhrapradesh.com
                                                          http://www.apinfrastructure.com

Arunachal Pradesh                              http://www.arunachaltourism.com/

                                                           http://arunachalpradesh.nic.in

Assam                                                 http://assamgovt.nic.in/

Bihar                                                   http://bihar.nic.in/
http://www.nic.in/ptdc/

Bombay (Airport)                               http://www.mumbaiairport.com/

Biman Bangladesh Airlines                http://www.bangladeshonline.com/biman/

British Airways                                   http://www.britishairways.com/

Chhattisgarh                                        http://cgtourism.nic.in/

Cottage Industry                                 http://www.cottageemporiumindia.com/

EL AL Israel Airlines                         http://www.elal.co.il/

Goa                                                     www.goacom.com
http://goagovt.nic.in
http://goatourism.nic.in
http://www.goatrip.com
http://www.goahub.com/goa/travel_guide
http://ruralbazargoa.nic.in
http://goamuseum.nic.in

Gujarat                                                http://www.gujarattourism.com/

Haryana                                              http://www.nic.in/htc/

Himachal Pradesh                                http://www.hptdc.nic.in/

Indian Airlines                                     http://indian-airlines.nic.in/

Indian Railways                                   http://www.indianrail.gov.in/

Indian Railways (online bookings)        http://irctc.co.in

Jet Airways                                         http://www.jetairways.com

Karnataka                                           http://kstdc.nic.in/

                                                           www.karnatakatourism.com

Kerala Tourism                                    http://www.keralatourism.org

Madhya Pradesh Tourism                    http://www.mptourism.com/

Maharashtra                                        http://www.maharashtra.gov.in
www.mumbainet.com

Manipur                                               http://manipur.nic.in/

Meghalaya                                           http://meghalaya.nic.in
www.meghalayatourism.com

Neemrana Fort Palace                         http://www.nivalink.com/fortneemrana/

New Delhi                                           http://www.newdelhi.net/defaultr.htm

New Delhi (Airport)                           http://www.delhiairport.com/

North Eastern Region                         http://www.northeast.nic.in

Orissa                                                  http://www.orissa-tourism.com/

Palace on Wheels                                http://www.palaceonwheels.net/new/home.htm

Pondicherry                                         http://www.tourisminpondicherry.com

Punjab                                                 http://www.nic.in/ptdc/
punjabgovt.nic.in/page2
chandigarh.nic.in

Qantas Airways Ltd.                            http://www.qantas.com/

Qatar Airways Ltd.                              http://qatarairways.com/

Rajasthan                                             http://www.rajgovt.org
http://www.rajasthantourism.gov.in

SATTE                                                http://www.satte.org

Sikkim                                                 http://sikkim.nic.ind
http://www.sikkimtourism.org

Singapore Airlines                               http://www.singaporeair.com/

Tamil Nadu                                         http://www.tamilnadutourism.org//
www.tidco.com

Thai Airways International                    http://www.thaiair.com/

Tripura                                                 http://tripura.nic.in

United Airlines                                      http://www.ual.com/

Uttar Pradesh                                       http://www.up-tourism.com/

WTI (World Travel India)                     http://www.worldtravelindia.com/

Youth Hostels Association of India        http://www.yhaindia.org/

  India is an affordable place to take extremely long holidays; moreover, their government happily gives no-fuss six month visas to all and sundry. If you are able to leave home for months on end without negative consequences, and the allure of tropical beaches and incessant leisure is strong, then India might be exactly what you are looking for.

    If you don’t like what you see during the first few days or weeks - persevere!  Try checking out a completely different place to that which you are in: if the cities are grating your nerves, head for the southern coastal regions. If you find fault with the coastal regions, head for the mountains. If you don’t like the mountains, there are always picturesque deserts and tropical islands. If you object to all the squalor and bad service, try the Palace on Wheels! Trust me, within this great nation you will find your own personal Shangrila. Some disillusioned and compulsive travellers have contacted their airline and cut short their visit, only to regret the decision days before they leave.